A Boy and A Girl (Part 1 of 3)

So tonight I was encouraged to write about how I met the love of my life. We are both unconventional people and so it only makes sense that our love has been unconventional. This is a story of how a boy met a girl, loved a girl, lost the girl, and then won the girls heart again.

It all started in the desolate landscape of the information super highway in 2001. That’s what we called it back then…2001….so silly were we… Anyway, I have never been good socially in a face to face situation and at that time, my only real social experience was talking to folks on Yahoo chatrooms. I would spend hours talking to people from various parts of the country about an endless number of topics. Chatrooms were great because they were very specific in nature, so if you liked talking about specific topics, as I do for the most part, chatrooms were a great avenue.

One night, I was up late in one of the rooms and I noticed this profile that was typing in some of the funniest things I had ever seen. Not only that but this was a girl who was writing these things and I instantly had to strike up a conversation with her. I don’t remember what I said back then but we ended up talking for quite some time, while also going around various chatrooms, playing pranks and just having a good time. The only problem was that this girl had a boyfriend…the bane of my existance….ughhh….

Well, not many days afterwards, the girl and the boy had a major fight online in one of the chatrooms. Me being the suave guy that I am swooped in and took my chance, we talked for the rest of the night and well into the morning. Shortly after that we decided that we would try an online relationship with each other. it was love at first type…

Back in the day, nationwide long distance was rare and cell phones were expensive, so I did what any boy would do so that he could talk more with his girl, I bought hundreds of dollars worth of phone cards…We would literally talk from the moment I got home from work until 3 or 4 in the morning. Oftentimes I would have just enough time to get an hour or two of sleep before heading back to work, but it was worth it. This girl was the most interesting and wonderful person I had ever met.

September 11th 2001 is a day that no one will forget. I remember it both for the attack that occurred and for the fact that it was on that day that we decided I would move to be with her. We knew that things were going to be different in this new post-terror world and we wanted to be closer to each other. So the next day I went and bought a bus ticket and a couple of weeks later I was heading across country to be with the girl of my dreams.

When I arrived and got off the bus, I had to walk around the bus to get my bag. Little did I know that I caused her to panic because she thought I had seen her and decided to head back home. When I walked back around the bus I saw her standing there, the most gorgeous woman that I have ever laid my eyes upon. No picture would have ever been able to grasp the beauty that I saw standing before me. We embraced and shared our first kiss.

Moving across the country is no easy task, especially for someone with the issues that I have. Even though I was very happy to be with the woman of my dreams, I was also terrified at the prospect of finding a job, getting comfortable in my new surroundings and just being me in a new state with people that I had never met. That night, full of fear and anxiety, my girlfriend asked me if I wanted to go up on the roof with her. I’m horrified of heights but I don’t even think I protested at all, maybe it was the complete anxiety that I was already in, led me to simply accept and head up the ladder behind her.

Still full of an anxiety we sat down on the roof, looking up at the stars, and I held her in my arms. My brain was going a mile a minute and I honestly cannot describe the mix of emotions I was feeling while looking at the stars, but it all ceased in a moment. This woman in my arms began singing to me, “Strawberry Wine.” Her voice reached into my heart, pulled out every bit of fear and anxiety. and left only one thought. I love this girl and I want to hold her in my arms, every night, for the rest of my life.

Stay tuned for part two….


The Brain of a Former Theist

Folks that know me now, find it hard to believe that I was once very religious, people that knew me then, find it hard to believe that I am no longer religious. I have gone from one side of the aisle to the other politically and the same can be said for my own religious feelings. Today I would consider myself an Agnostic who is fairly close to the Atheist mindset.

Another interesting aspect of my life is that I was, not so long ago a minister. It was strange that I am completely incapable of carrying on a conversation face to face but when I got behind a pulpit i could go for an hour easily. About 5 years ago, I started on a journey that I called radical Christianity. What that meant was that I would no longer follow any dogmatic form of Christianity but would follow the scriptures only. This lead to a new found interest in faith but it also led me to see just how corrupt and different the faith that people profess in churches is from the Biblical faith that Christ taught. It made me doubt if anyone I had grown up with, actually followed the faith of Christ. In the end I found my own faith was gone, not because I was disheartened but because I found I could lead a good life, with or without it.

I don’t want to disparage anyone’s faith but in the next few paragraphs I will describe a couple of reasons why I have left theology behind me. I will not go out of my way to be offensive but if you are easily offended you may want to stop reading now. You have been warned.

Reason 1 “Mind Control”

The Bible has been used to support every systematic form of discrimination over the years. Now is this a direct accusation against the scriptures? No, but it is a reason to see the scriptures as a form of control against those who fear the judgement of God. Don’t question segregation, it’s in the Bible. Don’t question slavery, it’s in the Bible. Don’t question the subjugation of women, it’s in the Bible. Don’t question the possibility of gay rights, it’s against the Bible. Don’t question the possibility of female leadership, it’s against the Bible. Something that has that type of control can be changed and shaped in a way to increase that control. Which leads me to Reason Two…

Reason 2 “Ever Changing”

The Bible we have today is not the same Bible that they had in the Early church years, and in fact the church existed for nearly 150 years without any form of Bible whatsoever. Splits in beliefs led the early church fathers to come up with an agreed upon canon in around 170AD. Still not the same Bible we have today. In fact Revelations and the book of James would not be included in today’s canon for nearly 200 more years and several books that had been Canon were removed from the Bible at that same time. So think about this… If you were a Christian in 190AD, you would be following a different set of scriptures than a Christian today, yet you might both believe that the Bible is unchangeable…isn’t that odd?

Reason 3 “Major Shifts From Old to New Testament”

During the break, between the Old and the New Testament, God goes through anger management, sorts out his wrath issues, and becomes all huggy. I mean seriously, this is a God that wiped out cities, burned priests for using the wrong incense, gave adulterous women miscarriages, and really liked the smell of burning flesh.  The God of the new testament discovered weed or something, and is chill as fuck. He doesn’t get mad, he’s all forgiving, and he even lets this evil dude Satan do all the angry stuff he used to do.

Reason 4 “Religious People”

The most important reason that I will give is other religious people. While that might seem like a poor reason to not follow a faith, I see it as a perfect example of who not to be associated with. I read the scriptures and know that if Christ were alive today, he wouldn’t be allowed to even walk into most churches. The Bible teaches a faith of liberation and yet the majority of religious people today, teach it as a faith of bondage. It’s not fun to be a Christian, I was one for years and I can say that it zaps the joy out of you. Try getting a group of Christians together for some sort of community outreach and see how many are truly willing to do more than throw a stack of cash at you while running away.

These are just a few of my reasons, and I have many others. Perhaps you are thinking, why not join another faith? To me that would be like a chicken who worships the farmer, turning away in favor of worshiping the fox. I personally think that we can live a moral and uplifting life without the need of superstition, we have progressed to a point that we can say, I am going to be a good person, not because I fear hell but because I want to be a good person. I still enjoy the teachings of Christ and can see a philosophy of Christ being of great help to those looking for a philosophy of life. Helping the sick, feeding the poor, taking care of the widowed and the orphaned are great causes and you would never go wrong doing those things. To me though, that choice is up to you, I don’t believe there is someone watching me at all times to make sure I do them.

Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts. Goodnight!

The Search for Truth…

Why on Earth have we entered a time period where people lead such easy lives that they can bring back crackpot ideas like Flat-Earth theory? Ok, this one really bothers me because my mind is very fact and logic based. I cannot even get my mind around the fact that some people actually believe this shit.

So what can I do? People who want to believe this type of stuff are in reality no different from folks who believe that Donald Trump is a blue collar guy, or that trickle down economics will work eventually if we try it 10 or 15 times. When the facts go against them, they simply call the facts biased, or “Fake News!” Here’s a little tip, just because you aren’t smart enough or learned enough to fully grasp a concept, it doesn’t make the concept false.

That gets me to climate change. 97 percent of scientists agree that climate change is a fact. 3% of scientists deny that it is a fact. For one, I believe that those 3% are in a way just allowing for a margin of error, in the same way that you never see a toothpaste commercial that says 10 out of 10 dentists agree that brushing your teeth is good for you. Basically there is nothing on earth that 100% of people are going to agree on but when it comes to science, there is what is correct and what is incorrect. Science is not subjective in the way you might discuss with your friends, which burger joint has the best cheeseburger. If 97% of scientists publically agree on something, then you can take that opinion as truth.

But these same people who deny this stuff, based on that 3% idea, would never agree to eat a candy bar that 97% of scientists believe is a dog turd. They wouldn’t go on a roller coaster that 97% of scientist believed was unsafe. They wouldn’t try a new headache pill that 97% of scientists believed would make their sexual organs fall off or out. They deny the science that they don’t like and agree with the science they like. It’s insanity.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for today. I hope you have a good Sunday.

The New PC Culture

So I bet you thought I was going to discuss political correctness. Haha. no I just bought a new PC and am getting used to the layout. I’ve been using a Mac for the last 5 years and so getting around a new PC is a bit of a learning experience.

Anyway, what is on my mind today? I’m irritated and I don’t really know why. It’s like I woke up this morning and my brain said, today you are going to be annoyed at everything. Even so I was able to set up my new PC, go to Wal-Mart, buy groceries and go out to eat; all without my emotions getting the best of me. It’s weird because sometimes I just wake up irritated and there isn’t much that I can do to stop it, other then trying my best to not get too worked up.

In other news, Tom Perez was selected as chairman of the DNC and I’m not surprised but at the same time I also don’t think it was a great choice. Mr. Perez is an alright guy but, when it comes to the future of the party, I think he is out of the loop. Personally, I believe he is going to attempt to create a type of big tent democratic party, much like the republicans did in the 90’s. I believe this is a bad idea because within another election the majority of Democrats are going to be young progressives and I don’t think they are going to want to slow progress due to the more conservative sector of their party, which is aging quickly. Big tent politics works great when you have no vision, but the fact is a huge chunk of millennials have a definite vision for where they want to take the party, and big tent will only harm that.

Lastly, the Oscar’s are tomorrow night and I can say that I am just as excited for them as I have every other year they have been on. Which is not excited at all… Rarely do they ever actually pick the most artistic or best film, but will go with the film that had the highest grossing box office. So instead I will entertain myself by watching the Walking Dead and then reading from my new book.

Goodnight, I hope you had a great and less irritating Saturday than me.

When My Mouth Gets Me In Trouble…

People who know me, will admit, that I like to swear. Idk if it’s really that I like to swear or if I just find myself swearing a lot in order to emphasize my point but yeah I use a lot of swear words. Anyway, I have been lucky enough to work at a place where language has never been an issue. We all swear and nobody really has had a problem with it. That is until about 6 months ago…

It’s a long story but an incident occurred and so the boss has become kinda trigger crazy on questionable language. Even so it was a really lax policy and if we didn’t go above and beyond the norm, it was still considered ok. Well…today I got in trouble for swearing… While I was at lunch we had an “HR Specialist”(A career that I personally think is made up) come in and give some tips for building an employee handbook. Obviously swearing was mentioned because not long after I got back from lunch, I said to another employee that they were being a dick and I got called into the conference room for a meeting. I got in trouble and so I’ve spent the rest of the day sulking…

See the way my mind works, if I get yelled at for doing something, I will do everything in my power never to do that thing again. I take it to the extreme though because that’s where my mind goes. So instead of just not swearing, I didn’t talk to anyone for the rest of the day and chances are I won’t talk to anyone tomorrow or for the foreseeable future.  For one, I don’t really see that there was anything wrong with what I said and two I have a very hard time changing something that I am used to doing.  Structure and routine are very important to me and so in order to change this I basically have to change my entire outlook and routine. Maybe this sounds petty but hey, it’s how my brain works, want to find the switch that changes this, have at it….I’d love it if you could find it and fix it.

Anyway, what else is on my mind tonight. Truthfully, not fucking much. I’m so annoyed and honestly in years past I would have quit over something like that. I know it is just a little thing and it shouldn’t really bother me like it has but that’s me. So anyway, thankfully tomorrow is Friday and I can swear as much as I fucking want to then…

Oh, side note, I won’t be doing a blog post tomorrow night. My daughter has asked me to go to a Daddy/Daughter dance and even though I know it is going to make me an absolute nervous wreck, I’m going to go. I love my daughter and she’s worth it.

Goodnight and see you Saturday!

We Need Separate Bathrooms For Morons!

So today I wanted to talk about bias in journalism and how it really isn’t that big of a deal but first let me touch on something that just happened. The Trump administration has reversed Obama’s federal protections on transgender students. Which means we will be taking a step back in our progress, at least in the near future.

Now I am not transgender but truth be told at one point in my life I did question my sexuality. I’m straight but I don’t act like other men and I have been told that in some ways I come off as effeminate. I was bullied constantly as a child so I know how hard it is on a person’s psyche. I see this as the beginning shot of a new war on protections that people in the past have fought and dies for. Whether those are minority protections, LGBTQ protections, sex crime legislation, or any other protection dealing with our civil rights; I think these are in danger.

We have to stand up for anyone who is being beaten down. It might not be easy to stand up when everyone else is telling you to sit down but it is a necessity to stand up for those who have been thrown down. If you believe in civil rights and social justice, tonight you are transgender and need to let people know that you stand for their rights and protections.

That’s why I think we need separate bathrooms for morons. I mean do you want to be using the restroom with someone who is thinking about what might or might not be between your legs? Seriously, who are the real pervs in this situation? When I go to the bathroom, I use the bathroom, I never consider the gender of anyone else in the bathroom.  With that in mind, let’s also make bathroom talkers use that third bathroom, I have never thought, God I need to shit and ask someone about the weather, at the same time.

So onto the topic I originally intended. I want to point out that there is some bias in the media. On the right, Fox News is obviously biased towards the republicans. On the left, MSNBC is obviously biased toward the democrats(although not nearly as much as 8 years ago) and in the middle you have CNN. Now is CNN unbiased? Of course not, but they are establishment biased, meaning they want to keep things the way they are, they don’t want to rock the boat, and simply try to get as large of an audience from moderates on both sides of the aisle. They are liberal enough to keep moderate liberals watching and conservative enough to keep conservatives watching.

So which of the three stations do I believe is doing the most damage. First I will admit that I watch CNN more than any other news station, but I believe they are doing the most damage. It comes from trying to keep the balance between the factions that causes this. I call it the “Star Wars Conundrum.” Remember how Luke was supposed to bring balance to the force but in the end everything really went downhill once he entered the picture? When you constantly try to provide time for both viewpoints, regardless of how stupid one sides view might be, you are going to wear yourself out, and in the end the viewers are not going to get a clear picture of what they need to know. If 97% of scientists believe in climate change, you do not need to have someone on that believes climate change is caused by being too close to God’s ball sack. If the facts are that immigrants commit less crime than citizens, then you don’t need someone to come on to say all immigrants are murderers. The Earth is round, debating this is simply ridiculous.

The problem is, we have reached a point in our history where facts are being called biased. Facts are objective truths, they are neither liberal nor conservative, they exist regardless of how you feel about them, in fact, if your feel something that is contrary to verified facts, you are a fucking moron…(I knew I’d get a swear in somewhere) Now, I don’t care if you have faith in something, believe what you want but stop debating between a fact and a shitty(#2) opinion. FUCK!(#3, filled my quota!)

Anyway, those are my thoughts tonight.

Goodnight and the week is half over!!!

He Shit Himself? How Unprecedented…

So…yeah I’ll get to the reason for the title in a minute. Today I started my work day having to be on the phone for over an hour with a customer service line… I hate talking on the phone, I never can master when I am supposed to talk and I’m annoyed the entire time. In the end the phone call did nothing for me and I had to figure out things on my own which took another 20 minutes, but after that my day went smoothly with no real hiccups.

Onto the title, we have a guy with no real work ethic at my office and yesterday we got an e-mail saying he was turning around and going home because he wasn’t feeling well. My Boss e-mailed back, asking why it is that he misses almost every Monday and he should probably figure out what he’s doing on the weekend thats continually making him sick. Well he came in today and tells everyone that he shit himself on the way to work and had to go home.

My brain malfunctioned…I get that sometimes people shit themselves and that it would be a reason to go home, but what I don’t get is why would someone who has shit themselves, pull over to the side of the road and write an e-mail on his phone, all while sitting in his own feces? I mean that just doesn’t make sense, if it were me I would have turned around and called on the way to say I was sick. Even so why the hell would you even tell people that you shit yourself? I mean you already called in sick, stayed home, you could have said you were throwing up, felt dizzy, couldn’t stop coughing, contracted the 24 hour syphilis, anything but you shit yourself. It just makes no damn sense. So yeah….thats the story for the title…

On other topics I did notice that 45 is now complaining that the protestors at town halls are liberal activists… Well no shit Sherlock…

A.) They didn’t vote for you
B.) They oppose everything you do.
C.) They are protesting GOP senators and congressmen.

I mean stop the presses, these are liberal activists… They are also your constituents, Mr. 45. Yes they can be defined as liberal in that they don’t adhere to conservative ideology, and they are definitely active so they can also be defined as activists, but so what? The Tea Party was run by billionaires, like the Koch brothers and I didn’t see Trump tweeting about the evil paid conservative activists.
Get used to the idea that there are far more people in America that did not vote for you, Mr. 45, than did.
Get used to the idea that a conservative majority in both houses is not going to last much longer.
Get used to the idea that everything destructive to our values that you try to implement is going to be met with protest.
Get used to the fact that we will still be here long after you have become a forgotten asterisk on the history books.

Anyway, those are my thoughts…

Goodnight and Happy Hump Day!