An Ode to Lord Jeffrey

Am I the only one who is absolutely sick of seeing Jeffrey Lord’s face? Seriously, if the choice were to have the skin on my arm removed with a potato peeler for the rest of eternity or sit in the same room as that man for 5 minutes, I’d pick the potato peeler. I’ve followed politics for a long time, and I do not remember this level of partisan hacks on Television. If Donald Trump were to say the best way to eat is to shove a straw up your ass and have a Guatemalan man servant spit nutrients into your colon, these hacks would honestly go on TV and say how revolutionary the Presidents nutrition plan was, and how brave he is for finally coming out against the liberal mouth eating agenda.

Anyway, what else is on my mind?  I’ve been hearing a lot of folks call out Conservative Christianity as being white supremacist in nature. In all honesty, I’m shocked. I’m not shocked with the premise but the fact that so many people are just now coming to this conclusion. I was a pentecostal minister for almost a decade and I can say I fought against these beliefs nearly every single Sunday.

Let me list a few examples:

Many Christians believe that Black people came from the curse of Ham. If you don’t know what that is, Noah got drunk one day and his son Ham, either saw him naked or had homosexual relations with his father while he was drunk(depending on the translation), and that God then cursed Ham, forcing him to leave his family.  Many conservative christians believe that Ham then moved to Africa and the black skin was a sign of God’s curse.

Many Conservative Christians will honestly get spitting mad at you if you question the color of Christ’s skin. I’ve asked Christians in church, if Christ was White, don’t you think that strange trait would have been mentioned in the Bible? I mean they speak of the virgin Birth, but don’t you think they would have said, and Mary gave birth to a snow white Arab child… Of course they would have!!!! (Interesting side note: It’s believed that our modern conception of Christ comes from the appearance of a Pope’s male lover, isn’t it odd that most Christians would rather worship the gay lover of a pope than to admit jesus was brown?)

Though it has gotten better to a certain degree, Modern Conservative Christianity is based around segregation. There are very few mixing of races in conservative christian churches. I’ve been in a service where a group of Black people showed up and a person kindly let them know where the closest black church was because obviously they had to be lost to walk into a white church.

Absolute intolerance of anything outside of the 1950’s ideal American family is not acceptable in most conservative christian churches. I have been the minister having kindly church folk ask me to tell someone that Christians do not have piercings, Christians should cover their tattoos, and that Christian women should wear dresses and no makeup. My general response to these requests was to laugh and point out that the scriptures they were relying on, we right beside verses about the evils of mixed cloth clothing.

These are just a few examples and I could go on and on about the various issues I faced as a minister. Trust me, it should not be shocking to anyone who has attended a conservative christian church in the last 20 years, that white supremacy is a key tenet of those professing that faith. They believe Jesus wants you to own a gun, hate immigrants, and act better than everyone in the world. In other words, they want you to be the absolute opposite of Christ.

Goodnight and Thank God it’s Friday!

 

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